GARY OLDMAN WENT FULL DWARF
How the hell did this slip under the radar? It’s called Tiptoes, and it’s a real, non-spoof movie (albeit direct-to-DVD) from 2003. Kate Beckinsale falls in love with Matthew McConaughey, and then he drops the bomb: he’s from a family of dwarves. She’s pregnant with his child, which because of his genes is probably going to be a dwarf child, and she’s worried it’s going to hack its way out of her uterus with a flute and mini pickaxe, because that’s what dwarves do. But more importantly, Gary Oldman plays McConnaughey’s dwarf brother! This is going straight to number one, on my Netflix queue.
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